Lord, you have been our dwelling place
throughout all generations. Psalm 90:1
My mother’s middle name was Elizabeth. My middle name is Elizabeth. So is my daughter’s. And her daughter’s. It’s a kind of ancestral thread in our matriarchal line that binds us with the ones who came before us and the ones coming after us. Passing on a name, it seems to me, is an act of receiving, bearing, and bequeathing. There is something of my mother not only in me but also in my daughter and granddaughter. One generation is part of another.
Christine Valters Paintner says that time itself is generational. When we make space in our lives to learn our family histories, we come to understand that things in our lives were planted by past generations and are planted for generations to come. The stories of our grandmothers and grandfathers are our stories, she says.
Likewise, the landscape, language, and culture that shaped our ancestors “have been imprinted on our psychic lives and souls,” says Paintner (pg 99). She encourages us to visit our ancestral lands, to learn about the cultural lives of our ancestors, and to find the stories they told and might yet tell if we open the space for them to do that.
Paintner offers at least two ways we can connect with our ancestors in this chapter. The first is engaging a meditation of “calling on your ancestors” that uses the breathing techniques we have learned. The meditation invites us to seek wisdom from our ancestors, to hear their stories and see how those stories are reflected in our own.
The second exercise is creating an ancestor shrine to honor one or more ancestors. The exercise includes craft-work such as collage and decoupage. Paintner calls it a remembrance through art. She suggests building the shrine from materials we have at home and letting the materials speak to us rather than buying new from the craft store.
When the shrine is complete, Paintner suggests spending some time with it to let it continue to speak to us.
Questions for reflection:
As you read chapter 7, see what parts of it especially resonate with you.
1. How connected do you feel with your ancestors? Have you done any genealogy work? How does this chapter give you a new perspective on looking at those who have gone before?
2. As you think about your family history, what stories jump out to you? Who from your past do you feel most connected to?
3. In our culture, family secrets (wounds, embarrassments, shocking events or situations, etc.) are often intentionally hidden from the world. Is this your family’s way? If your family has tried to bring these to light, how did it go? What is the benefit of “dealing with your own brand of family wounding and angst?” (p. 101). What are the consequences of not doing so?
4. What are some links (tangible or intangible) that you have to your ancestors?
5. How do you imagine or how have you experienced the great “cloud of witnesses?” (Heb. 12:1).
The Wisdom Years 